Hi there Awesome people!
Today I’d like to talk to you about plans.
Too often I see people, of varying ages, get frustrated with themselves because they’re not where they want to be in their life yet. They don’t have the job they want, the relationship they want, the house they want, the car, the friends, the money, the success. And it’s driving them crazy.
They’re still working towards these goals but they have a plan in their head about when they’re going to get there, and when it doesn’t happen exactly as to plan, they beat themselves up about it.
I know a young woman, lets call her Debbie, and she had one of those life goals list in her head. Finish Uni by this age, be engaged amd married by this age, have kids at this point in her career, the whole thing planned out. You know what happened? Yep, life didn’t go to plan. A whole lot of stuff completely out of her control happened to her and around her and suddenly all her plans, goals and dreams were thrown into question. So you can imagine the way she felt. She felt as we all would. Full of anxiety and depression, questioning her self and the things around her, completely lost and confused. All because the plans she’d made for her life weren’t happening in the way she’d planned, and as a result she felt a failure.
Now this is not a critisism of Debbie, she is a smart, beautiful and lovely woman, capable of anything she puts her mind to but she did fall into a trap that so many of us do. We make these plans for the future, how we want our lives to play out, and thats good, you should have goals to work towards, but she had so much of her identity tied to those plans that when they went off the rails she was completely thrown by it.
When we make plans for our lives, we all need to remember to build in some flexiblity to them. We need to take into account that we don’t nessesarily lnow whats going to happen tomorrow or the next day or next month or next year. So because we are not perfect, and life isn’t perfect as a result our plans won’t end up happening perfectly either.
How do we solve this issue? Well first of all, give yourself a break. You don’t have to know what to do all the time. You don’t have to know exactly what you want to do with the rest of your life. Take your time, figure it out, don’t rush it. Try new things, expose yourself to new possibilities, you never know what you might find.
Secondly, as I said, build some flexibility into you plans. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is going to go exactly as you plan it. Flexibility means that when things do go sideways you don’t have to reassess everything.
Thirdly, accept that the journey you are on is going to have hurdles, road blicks and obstacles, and occasionally, you are foing to have to tale a difderent path to where you want to go. That’s ok. All it means is that you have new opportunities for learning and growth. Take what you’ve learned so far and apply it to the next oart of the story of your life.
I’m in my early 30s and I’ve only I the last couple of years worked out that stufd, and I’d been searching for years. I’ve had to reassess, amd refocus so many times I’ve lost count, but each time, i try to learn more from that experience. So I can be better prepared for the next part of the journey.
You may be younger and know what your going to do, you maybe older and still searching. Either way that’s ok. We are all working at our lives at our own pace. So don’t judge yourself for not knowing what to do next, or by what your parents or siblings had done by your age. Don’t judge yourself by what your friends have or haven’t achieved, or by what some guy on the internet is doing. This is your life, just stop, take a breathe and allow yourself to live it. Have patience, it will all become clear in time.
As always my friends
Get up, Get out there and Get awesome!
And give yoursef a break, deserve it.