If you follow me on social media, or have read my posts before, you may have gotten the sense that I am the eternal optimist. That no matter what happens, I have a smile on my face, see the silver linings in everything, all rose coloured glasses, unicorns and rainbows. This is not actually the case. While a lot of the time I can take a breather, and see the lesson or blessing in disguise in a setback, there are times I just go “For F@#ks sake, why me? Why now? Why is it so damned hard?!”
Here’s the deal though, it’s hard for 1 or more of the following reasons;
You are making it harder on yourself than necessary
For instance, money is tight right now, but you prioritise buying cigarettes and craft beers when you go out to a bar, rather than pre-drinking at home and quitting the smokes. Now if that’s where you want to spend your cash, that’s your call, but if you are putting that before rent, bills or food, don’t go crying to your friends when you’re broke, homeless and hungry. That one’s on you.
Other People are making your life harder than necessary
Sometimes you can’t avoid these drama producing people. Family, in laws, ex’s etc., but there are a whole lot of people (and their issues) you can probably lose from your life and not be worse off for it. As they say “If you don’t lose some friends on the journey, you’re not growing”. As for the unavoidable people, you do have a choice as to how much weight you give to their opinions, or how you feel about their behaviour. If it doesn’t directly affect you, why are you caring? Don’t you have better things to do than tying yourself up in knots over other people’s choices? Conversely if it does influence you and your loved ones, why are you putting up with it? Most people are only annoying or inconsiderate because they are so wrapped up in their own stuff, they don’t even realise the effect they have on others. You’ll likely be doing them a favour by politely letting them know their behaviour leaves a lot to be desired. So, once again it’s on you to solve the situation.
It’s meant to be this hard
There is nothing in this world that doesn’t come with struggles. Well, nothing that’s worth your time and energy anyway. Even your natural talent, the things you were born to do, are only blessings if you work for it. Otherwise they are just missed opportunities and the seeds of death bed regrets. There are countless quotes and phrases you can choose from that convey this essential truth, whether you prefer “struggle breeds strength”, “what doesn’t challenge you, doesn’t change you”, or my mother’s unofficial family motto “You get that on the big jobs” it all boils down to the same idea. Sometimes life gets hard because it’s the work that gets you ready for the good stuff.
Now all this is great but if I don’t give you some ways to deal with it, I’m not helping to facilitate you finding the happier, less stressful life I always try to, am I? Well, too bad, I’ve got nothing on this one. Knowing why things are hard only gets you so far, the fact is, sometimes life just gets hard. That’s just the way it is, sorry. Sure, you can do a whole lot to reduce the stress (and their creators), but there are going to be somethings you just can’t avoid. That’s when you need to learn to love the labours, get comfortable with the discomfort and find pleasure in the knowledge that the pain is forging you into someone stronger, more resilient and more appreciative of the easy times.
So as always
Get Up, Get Out There and Get Awesome!